


i'm not enough but i still stay

by pearlselegancies



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Disassociation, Gen, Therapy, demigods have mental health problems and that should be discussed more, descriptions of dissociating, reyna needs therapy tell me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearlselegancies/pseuds/pearlselegancies
Summary: The therapist’s office looks nothing like what Reyna had seen in TV shows. Aria, her therapist, a middle aged woman who works primarily with teenagers, pulls out a mug from the cabinet and goes to the kettle, heating up water.“Tea or Coffee?” Aria asks, and Reyna shrugs. She picks at a piece of fluff from her wool leggings before speaking. “Tea is ok I guess.” Today is one of the numb days, she thinks to herself as she watched Aria pour the steaming water into the lilac mug, her pink dyed hair flowing around her like cotton candy.- or in which reyna has a therapist, and she starts to work some things out.
Relationships: Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	i'm not enough but i still stay

**Author's Note:**

> descriptions of mental illness and disassociation, anxiety, depression, and trauma. primarily based on the author's own experience with those subjects. please be kind to each other and to me. take care of yourselves.

The therapist’s office looks nothing like what Reyna had seen in TV shows. Aria, her therapist, a middle aged woman who works primarily with teenagers, pulls out a mug from the cabinet and goes to the kettle, heating up water. 

“Tea or Coffee?” Aria asks, and Reyna shrugs. She picks at a piece of fluff from her wool leggings before speaking. “Tea is ok I guess.” Today is one of the numb days, she thinks to herself as she watched Aria pour the steaming water into the lilac mug, her pink dyed hair flowing around her like cotton candy. 

“I think I’ve been dissociating.” Reyna says as Aria sets the mug in front of her. “Like I’m not there, in my own body. I usually only feel like that in battle. I don’t know if it’s a Bellona thing or a _me_ thing.” Aria nods, humming softly in response. She peers at Reyna through her glasses, “And how does that make you feel? Emotionally?”

Reyna picks at her leggings again, before grabbing her mug in two hands and letting the heat slightly burn her hands. “Like.. like I have to watch my back. All the time, and I-I just wanna sleep.” Aria nods again, before speaking. “Do you feel like you’re in danger constantly? Is there a specific thing making you feel that way?” 

Reyna shook her head as she placed the mug down again. She had felt like this for longer than not, and it was hard to even think of what had started it. And gods did that make her so mad. She clenched her hands, letting them relax for a moment. It felt like she couldn’t pin her thoughts down as she stammered them out. 

“I mean, with the monsters, I am in a way always in danger.” She reasoned, ignoring Aria’s raised eyebrow. The older woman still didn’t get certain things about being a demigod. “And I guess when my dad was, when he was alive, I did feel like this then. But those are valid things. That’s actual trauma. I can be anxious over that. _This_ _isn’t_.” 

“Are you sure?” Reyna looked up at Aria. “What?”

“Is this not a valid thing to feel anxiety over? Reyna, you’ve gone through intensive trauma, I am not surprised your body is doing this. This is your body's way of protecting you.” Reyna shrugged, not knowing what to think. Aria continued, her eyes never leaving Reyna’s face. 

“I figure it started when your dad was alive. You’ve mentioned that most of your memories of him and your childhood pre New Rome don’t feel like yours, like you weren’t there in your body. Maybe, you’ve been dissociating since you were little? Would this make your anxieties more or less valid?” 

Reyna had no idea how to respond to that. From a young age, she knew that something was wrong with her, but the idea of dissociating as a little kid, to escape her childhood - that was terrifying. Her face must have shown her fear because Aria spoke quietly. 

“It’s ok to not be sure Reyna. You have just turned 18, I’m not expecting you to be one hundred percent sure of why you are the way you are. But know this, trauma can affect you in many ways. It’s why you have anxiety, why you have depression, and why you are dissociating. But if you get treatment for it, it will not control you. You cannot let it control you.” 

Reyna nodded, her heart beating softly in her ears. She looked back down at her leggings and grabbed the mug once again. She wasn’t going to let it control her. She couldn’t.


End file.
